The way you speak about your spouse displays your character

by Bruidsgids
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Written by: Pastor Deon Malan of Coffee & Confetti

 In the Bible, we learn about the importance and sanctity of marriage and we see the plan that God had for marriage to display the unity and love between Jesus and His Church, therefore it is important to notice how emphasis is placed on the unity of two individuals becoming one in the eyes of God. Right from the Old Testament carried over into the New Testament. 

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 

“and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?” – Matthew 19:5 

“and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” – Mark 10:8 

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:31 

These Scriptures do not promote co-dependence nor do they in any way speak about the intertwining of two individuals to become one individual that thinks, acts, or has the same interests or viewpoints. This becoming one flesh refers to two individuals coming into unity in the eyes of God where they no longer stand separate from each other but as one. 

This is where it gets interesting because when we look at marriage in this light, we take note of the fact that when I gossip about or slander my spouse, I am actually placing myself in a bad light. This mystery will not be understood by the human mind, but spiritually I am binding myself when I break down the spouse that God has given me. 

Here are some interesting quotes to take to heart: 

“Never talk bad about your spouse to another person. This minimizes your spouses’ integrity and takes away from your character.” 

“Talking down to your spouse shows exactly the person that you are. Instead of speaking down to your spouse, speak nicely.” 

“Instead of nagging about your spouse, try bragging about your spouse. Build them up, don’t tear them down. Focus on what they are doing right instead of always pointing out what they are doing wrong.” – Dave Willis 

“Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself; not what’s leftover after you have given your best to everyone else.” – Dave Willis 

What if we changed the narrative and instead of gossiping and slandering, we started loving, respecting and lifting up our spouse? We would see a change in our life, the life of our spouse and the overall wellbeing and health of our marriage. 

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