Written by: Pastor Deon Malan of Coffee & Confetti
Love can be defined as an intense feeling of deep affection, but often stripped of its power. Do we love objects as much as each other? What type of love do you have for your future spouse?
There are three things that amaze me— no, four things that I don’t understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman. – Proverbs 30:18-19
Although love is an endless road as the Time Bandits say, no road has no boundaries. Boundaries are the lines of where things end or begin, it marks off a territory of where others are allowed to enter or not. E.g. Walls, fences, hedges and gates or signs.
If you think that you are unable to love and desire to grow in your love for God and others, you’ll be encouraged by learning this true meaning of love. The Greek definition of love has four roots, namely: Agape which is Godly love, Storgè that is familial love, Philio which can be described as friendship love and Eros which can be defined as sexual love in marital confines. In pre-marital counseling it has become clear that it is challenging to establish healthy relationships without understanding and implementing these four roots of love and healthy boundaries.
The Bible is clear that love is connected to boundaries and the Apostle Paul describes these boundaries to the church at Corinth.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
There are various types of boundaries, these can be categorised as physical which refers to skin and verbal such as saying the word no. A boundary of truth which shows your unique character that God has given you. Sometimes there are boundaries that establish a great sense of safety, these include time which focuses on taking time out or away to deal and heal from past or present hurts. Boundaries can also be implemented by means of great distance like moving to a different city, province or country to implement a solid boundary. Many times we need to implement emotional boundaries and these are cutting ties with toxic people or toxic behaviours in order to heal and grow.
Today try to identify aspects in your life you may need to implement boundaries, in the following weeks this blog will guide you towards implementing healthy helpful boundaries in order to get closer with God as well as your future spouse.